Saturday, January 14, 2006

GOD'S MINUTE!!!!!

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FOR THEN IT SHALL BE SAID; OUR MOUTHS WERE
FILLED WITH LAUGHTER, AND OUR TONGUES WITH
SONGS OF JOY. THEN IT WAS SAID AMONG THE
NATIONS, "THE LORD HAS DONE GREAT THINGS FOR
THEM."
( PSALM 126:2 )

Dear Charles,
The following message was sent to me in November from
our Sister-In-Christ, Karen. I hope it will start your Sarurday
with a smile and a laugh or two. So let us enjoy:
"Some Christian Humor ..."

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family
Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there
anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the
Ten Commandments." Answered the lady.

========

Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the
world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say,
"Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the
morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

========

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city
because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a
meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read:
"I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss
my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along
with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't
give
you a ticket I'll lose my job. "Lead us not into temptation."

========

There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and
announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad
news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our
new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in
your pockets."

========

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of
humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a
hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and
grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

========

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot
up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know -
Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "

========

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just
before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly,
but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant
motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the
young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if
everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same
in my business."

========

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly,
"I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied,
"What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son
replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the
Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy." The young boy replied
excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving
Earth.'"

========

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter
what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be
scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
Pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that
morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not
afraid, thy comforter is coming."

========

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk! Amen.

With My Love & Prayers,
Pastor Allen
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Apostle Paul Ministries, P O Box 55996, Hayward, CA 94545

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